Forcing Women to Adapt to a Masculine Ideal is a Recipe for Success with a Bitter Aftertaste

After reading an article in Aftenposten highlighting the Soft Girls trend with the headline "How relaxed can one be before they manage to get up in the morning?", I wanted to give my perspective on this topic.

This sparked many thoughts for me. Life is not just about managing to get by. Life is about living; it's about finding balance. In a world driven by performance, where our value is measured by productivity and success, many have lost themselves along the way.

The Price of Performance

The performance-driven generation has led to 8 out of 10 young Norwegian workers experiencing or nearly experiencing burnout. The culture of constant performance places a significant burden on individuals, regardless of age. In Europe, 39% experience high-stress levels daily, and only 13% are engaged in their work.

The statistics scream that something needs to change. Young women who set boundaries and prioritize their own health and well-being deserve respect. The "soft girls" trend and the increasing demand for softer and more feminine values result from this need, not laziness.

Misplaced Criticism

The criticism of the Soft Girl trend seems entirely misplaced. The notion that getting in touch with one's softer sides is reserved for the privileged is a narrow-minded view. Katrine Kielos-Marçal expressed in the Swedish DN that "It's as if they have forgotten that women's equal rights in the labour market fundamentally exist so that we don't have to be beaten, raped, and at worst, murdered in relationships we couldn't leave for economic reasons."

The comparison to the fight for equality and women's rights is inappropriate. It's important to remember that a six-hour workday, a central demand from the women's movement, was meant to enable women to combine work and caregiving sustainably. However, instead of moving towards this ideal, the pressure increases yearly.

Equality is not about making women and men identical; it's about providing equal opportunities. It is crucial to allow women to express their feminine qualities and value them in life and the workplace. Forcing women to adapt to a masculine ideal is a recipe for success with a bitter aftertaste.

This feeling is not only felt by the young. Women of all ages experience the constant chase where work dominates life, leaving them with a feeling of inadequacy in all areas. Women have entered male-dominated arenas since they gained access to the labour market. Here, many have found themselves in a position where they feel pressured to adapt to a more masculine demeanour to be taken seriously and to succeed.

This can manifest in the way they dress, the qualities they employ, and how they speak and behave, and in some cases, it means compromising their authentic identity to reach the top. The Soft Girl trend is not about lounging around; it’s about balancing out the Boss Girl trend that has prevailed over the past 15 years. It’s about reintroducing the feminine and soft and exploring new ways to live and work without sacrificing a career.

The Benefits of Balance

Taking time for a break, a deep breath, or an hour of pilates can help increase creativity, well-being, and innovation in the workplace. It's important to recognize that rest and relaxation are necessary for people, even though they seem to have been neglected in our constant pursuit of more.

Embracing all sides of oneself, including the soft and feminine qualities, can help give life a deeper meaning. Soft girls seem to have realised that other aspects of life are just as important as a career. A work-life characterized by uniformity, where everyone is expected to fit into a specific mould, is a work-life with limited diversity.

When employees are encouraged to be authentic and include all their sides, including soft and feminine values, it can contribute to increased innovation and diversity in the workplace. When we recognize and embrace the need for balance between the soft and hard, we open the door to a more sustainable and meaningful approach to work and life.

Seeing the Bigger Picture

Instead of limiting women who seek more balance and calm in their daily lives to people who want to live off their partner and do pilates all day, we should explore the reasons for this trend and be open to alternative ways of living and working. It is possible to create a successful career while maintaining balance.

There are many ways to live, lead, and work beyond what we see around us every day. The global four-day workweek with full pay is an excellent example. There is a big difference between taking a break and completely giving up one's career.

At Poise, we teach women how to find their balance between work and life, by allowing them to tap into their softer and feminine sides, like silence or effective mobile-free mornings.

- Love

Iselin | Founder of Poise